Welcome to my monthly column “A view from the top”. Hopefully you will find my rambling readable (maybe even enjoyable). You may agree or you may disagree with my views, I care not. These are my views long held and forged over a life time of work, travel and experience. Now that’s over let’s have a look at what is really winding me up.
Not Another Election
It came as a big surprise to me when the current occupant of a prime piece of real estate just off Whitehall... Number 10 Downing St... declared recently that due to other people not being nice to her, she would call a General Election. They are obstructing my every move in relation to Brexit said Mrs May... they just won't let me do what I want.... they keep using something called Democracy to frustrate my plans. This despite no such frustrations of her plans due to the fact that the May woman has refused to tell us plebs exactly what her plan is. As I remember the House of Commons waved the Article 50 exit clause through, virtually on the nod... as did the next door house of ill repute. My feelings toward politicians is in general one of "A plague on all their Houses"...I have consistently via my "View" column berated the utter ineffectiveness of the political class in Britain. During a recent discussion with a friend I was reminded of the oft quoted American political term of "A Post Turtle". The story goes thus.... A farmer is talking politics with a young man from the city. During the conversation the farmer compares a politician to a "Post Turtle". Looking confused the young man said " I don't understand" and asks the farmer "what is a post turtle?". The farmer replies thus... When you are driving down a country road and you see a fence post with a turtle balanced on top ...well that is a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself ...you know he doesn't belong there ...you wonder who put him there. He can't get anything done while he's up there ...and you just want to help the poor dumb thing down. In my opinion that tale represents politics and politicians in general. Of course all I can do as a citizen is make my thoughts and feelings public via the "View" ...I cannot vote as I am disinfranchised in the British General election, as I was in the European referendum vote. Democracy - I read about it somewhere!
The relentless march of time
Having a few foaming ales with my mates the other evening, the tone of the usually highbrow debate ...you know ...football ...crap television ...reminiscence from our work careers etc, took a turn toward reality when the matter of our collective ageing bodies entered the debate forum. In essence each one of us is coming apart at the seams ...our once silth like superfit bodies are no longer either silth like or superfit with the exception of course being myself. My problem is that I sometime fall out of reality. However as we went round the "Table of Wisdom" it became apparent that as we all get older we develop problems that have an effect on our daily lives. Creaking bones ...dodgy knees, and the onset of eye problems, plus a suspectability to rheumatic type diseases seemed to be the bane of our problems. Add these obvious physical problems to the not so visable issue of all of us collectively losing our marbles, then our "Table of Wisdom" has the potential to descend into a laugh a minute forum. On this occasion that is exactly what happened as it became apparent that in general it's the simple daily things that frustrate us the most. For example we all agreed that we like good British corned beef ...the problem that we all have is that we cannot get the bloody little key to turn sufficiently to get at the offending bully beef. Another cause for concern was seen as the packets of ham, salami etc that all seem to have a corner that says "abrir facil" (easy open) ...however with dodgy fingers and dodgy eyesight it is almost impossible to get into the bloody packet without resorting to a sharp kitchen knife ...which in itself is dangerous when one cannot control said knives. The discussion then turned to tin openers and the wish for more ring pull tins to make getting into the tins easier, as collectively we could not seem to cope with the tin opening devices on offer ...even the fancy electric ones. The discussion then turned to the subject of the new design milk bottles introduced by a local Spanish Supermarket chain ...can we get the tops off ...you bet we cannot, or actually we can but have to put up with half the milk ending up on the kitchen floor. Lastly came the matter of the same supermarket chain and their small packs of muffins ...lovely the muffins maybe if you can get the things out of the packet. The packet is rectangular in design with a little recessed fixing at the front corners that enables the box to be firmly closed when in use. The problem is that you have to struggle to get into the box due to the fact that a small piece of sellotape is placed across the middle of the box. This sellotape is invisible to one with dodgy eyes and is impossible to remove with rheumatic fingers ...it helps with the diet being unable to actualy eat said muffins, but adds to the rapidly rising blood pressure, due to the frustrations of simply everyday life. Perhaps we will get around to talking about our more serious frustrations, but that will be for another session of the "Table of Wisdom".